Beka’s Indian diary

December 19th, 2006

Since graduating from the Vajrasati Teacher Training Course, Beka Card has embarked on a personal journey to India to deepen her connection with yoga. Beka will be sharing her experiences in a regular diary. This is her insightful first entry…

November 2006, India
It is perhaps, out of curiosity that those who are training to be a yoga teacher wonder what it is like for those who have recently completed their training. The curiosity is to know what one experiences post-graduation. We must first remind ourselves that this experience will, of course, be different for each individual. For example, Karanujala and Khadine, who I graduated alongside, may also have some interesting stories of their own to share.

It is not just for the benefit of others that I have begun this exercise – it is also extremely important to me since I am now in India and feel the importance of staying connected to the yoga community I am part of back in Brighton. I can already see how giving myself this focus is of great benefit and a wonderful reminder of one’s continuing exploration of what yoga actually means. If I am asked what is the main practice/experience since coming out of yoga school, I will answer that it is to continually explore the meaning of the word yoga. We cannot imagine that we have it solved, done and dusted and put into a folder so that it is easy to access and describe each time in the very same way.

In every life situation for me, particularly the difficult ones, I check whether yoga is being practiced and each time I find that it is different. This can extend beyond me and my actions and move towards others. And in the true spirit of yoga, one must try and practice with an intention of non-violence/ahimsa. We can share what we feel is important but only if it is appropriate. This is where mindfulness comes in and the cultivation of awareness so that we can be discerning enough to know what is appropriate speech or actions.

The Summer
My life during the summer since finishing yoga teacher training seems to have been completely full. Though it is not my preference to have life quite so busy it was, nevertheless, all stuff that was interesting and nourishing.

Firstly, I went full-steam-ahead into building a yoga platform in my friend Danny’s woods. This was a manifestation of a vision that coincided with both Danny and myself. It just so happened that I was the one with the energy and enthusiasm to actually make it happen.

The building of the platform took a number of weeks due to other commitments but it was done between working as a gardener, teaching yoga and social events either side. A close friend helped me and when it was finished I held a Yoga and Meditation Day in the Woods, which was very well attended. Indeed, I had to turn one person away. The platform was full with 16 people on it. I really enjoyed the day and saw the benefit of all the hard work that had gone into it. I also received some heartfelt feedback from some of the lovely people who came that day.

Quite simply and literally I wish to provide a ‘platform’ for people to experience yoga on all levels, outdoors, in nature. The encouragement is very much to explore the inner/outer world – to discover what nature really means. The intention is this, though one cannot expect that this will definitely happen. People will find their own experience and get whatever they get from such a day.

During the day there was a campfire burning, where tea could be made. People brought food to share and were encouraged to think about low-food-miles – this, too, is practicing non-violence.

There is a morning break and a relaxing 2-hour lunch. In the afternoon, there is an experiment to step outside the form - of what we think yoga means and who we think we are – (our roles and identities). This involves going off on our own into the woods in silence and to be as present as possible – to fully experience ourselves in nature and notice our relationship to it. In this way, we might forget ourselves and only experience nature in its essential form. At any rate, we notice the sense of connection. It is this sense of connection that we attempt to stay with as we come back together in silence and sit as a group. This serves to support each other in the cultivation of connectedness.

Through this experience the intention is that people can see the benefit of ‘just being’ in nature and also the strength of silence, both alone and as a group. Needless to say, a second Yoga and Meditation Day in the Woods took place. This time there were less people but it was equally beneficial and enjoyable. Steps have been taken to preserve the platform during the winter in order for further exploration next summer. Watch this space…

The summer also included teaching yoga daily at the Big Green Gathering in a beautiful yurt. This was pretty challenging due to many factors – people coming and going as they pleased, people in various states, external noise and activity and lack of equipment. Neverthless, I found the challenge enjoyable and met some lovely people who really appreciated the classes. From this, I formed connections with people who are now interested in taking part in the perma-yoga course.

I also helped to organize a classical Indian music concert in Lewes, where I have been living. It was called ‘Nada Yoga’ – the sound of yoga. This organising took up a lot of my time but I really wanted to be involved. The event itself was absolutely wonderful – ask Jim, he’ll tell you. The musician is a friend of a friend and a true yogi. I had the honor of spending the entire weekend with him and we talked non-stop about yoga. His name is Krishnamurti Sridhar and before he was allowed to pick up an instrument he had to learn yoga – the true meaning of the word. He spent years as a disciplined student of a guru, mastering the art of yoga. Even now, he is extremely disciplined. It was a real inspiration to be in the presence of this person. He gives a wonderful demonstration of Tapas/discipline/purification and is a reminder to us all the importance of formal, regular practice. Also, how, with effort we can avoid being distracted if we set our heart and mind on it.

I will have the pleasure of spending more time with Sridhar out here in India and, as the concert was such a success, we shall be holding another one for him in Lewes next year.

Sustainability
The exploration of nature is a theme I carry through my whole life, including my work. I am a gardener and I specialize in sustainability. Permaculture is a modern word used to describe using our common-sense and being resourceful as a way of following patterns in nature. We put it into practice by creative design and management so that a sustainable structure is put into place. In this way, one could say that all the five yamas are being practiced: ahimsa/non-violence – being kind to our environment; satya/truthfulness – being honest about what really matters; asteya/non-stealing – not taking anything we don’t already have/being resourceful; aparigraha/non-attachment – not being fixed on an idea of how something should be or look; and bramacharya/restraint/simplicity – again, not taking anything extra and always checking one’s intentions.

Of course, this can be done in all elements of life, including transport, architecture, one’s home and one’s yoga practice. But the most obvious and popular demonstration of permaculture is to be found in gardens and other green spaces.

One effective way of practicing sustainability in this way is growing vegetables. I have had the privilege of working in a beautiful walled garden just one mile from my home. The garden supplies not only the house where the owners live but also a small number of local businesses. It has been a real joy seeing the vegetables, fruit, herbs and flowers growing from seed and ending up in the local shops and, best of all, on our tables!

As some people may be aware, I advertised a perma-yoga course at the end of the summer. Unfortunately, not enough people registered so it had to be postponed. Perhaps it is becoming clearer to the reader the reasons why anyone would wish to combine permaculture and yoga – it is the deep interest I have in exploring nature, therefore, sustainability, that has brought this to fruition.

The awareness of not just personal but global issues is paramount in these times of crisis. We really do need to sit up and take notice not only to what we are doing to our beloved planet but also to what we are doing to ourselves, daily.

At this point, it is necessary for me to mention that I am currently reading Ghandi’s An Autobiography: The Story of My Experiments with Truth – a great human being who served many and was a sentinel at the palace gates of truth and non-violence. I will be mentioning him many more times during my writings as he is a great inspiration to me and everything I believe in.

At one point in his book, he writes of a period in his life in London when he finally realized that trying to keep up with everybody else by wearing fine clothes, eating in all the ‘right’ places and always catching public transport instead of walking was just not sustainable (for his body, mind and wallet). A change, a shift took place. A simpler way of life was led:

‘Let not the reader think that this living made my life by any means a dreary affair. On the contrary, the change harmonized my inward and outward life. It was also more in keeping with the means of my family. My life was certainly more truthful and my soul knew no bounds of joy.’

Again, it is interesting to notice the use of the yamas which he practiced here (sub-conciously at this stage in his life); asteya/non-stealing and brahmacharya/self-restraint. Gandhi decided not to steal/take anything more than was necessary to sustain himself, thus, moving into a more simple way of living and through restraint (though it appears to have come quite naturally and non-forcefully) of certain activities he found contentment (santosa).

India
And so to my present situation. On completion of my teacher training I immediately acquired a ticket to India. I have been to India already a number of times and managed to go for two months during an unusually long break over Christmas and New Year in my first year of training. I longed to go back. It always felt like a sacrifice, a real commitment for me not to be going and to be staying through a whole winter – something I have always found unbearable.

India serves me, like many others, as a place for deepening my sense of oneness with all things. It lays the foundations for the cultivation of what it is to live life fully – looking into the eyes of human suffering, one’s own and of others. The seeing of this may not be something that ‘just happens’. For me, it was necessary to find a structured way on the spiritual path. This took the shape of silent retreats. With the aid of attending one or many retreats, there is the opportunity to make a conscious enquiry into the nature of things and a specific focus on the inner-world.

Retreats are fertile places, which allow the seed of awareness to grow into something finer, clearer, easier to access. It is this fine cultivation of awareness that I am interested in. This very intention is a movement of non-violence. I refer now to The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali:

Part 2, ‘Treading the Path’, no. 34: ‘Negative feelings, such as violence, are damaging to life, whether we act upon them ourselves, or cause or condone them in others. They are born of greed, anger, or delusion, and may be slight, moderate, or intense. Their fruit is endless suffering. To remember this is to cultivate the opposite.’

I consider the participation of retreats (or even going to a yoga class) an act of non-violence. It goes against the grain due to the cultivation of awareness that is occurring. Most of the time we, as human beings, illustrate little, if not, no awareness. It is this fact that is the cause of our suffering. I refer not only to the sutras but also to my own experience.

Part 2, ‘Treading the Path’, no. 11: ‘The gross effects of suffering are discarded through meditation.’

This is why I speak of going against the grain – it is a real effort, a challenge and, at times, frightening to be in silence for any length of time and to be faced only with one’s inner-world. But the fruits of one’s labour is a real treasure to be shared with others.

‘Treading the Path’, no. 35: ‘When we are firmly established in non-violence, all beings around us cease to feel hostility.’

It seems more and more over the last year or so that when I am on retreat, there is a strong feeling that I am not doing this just for me. Perhaps, at the beginning, this may have been the case but I can see now that this spiritual practice is for the benefit of others as well. It is a sense of duty that I feel. This word duty is something that is often referred to in the Hindu texts and, as such, Gandhi also refers to it a lot. He speaks of it in context with the devotion to his parents, to his studies, his work – paid or unpaid – and to the laws of life he lived by, mainly satya/truth and ahimsa/non-violence.

It is for this reason that I have decided to do something slightly different this time in India. Having felt a need to do more than just sit for eight hours a day (though I value this practice highly and will continue to do it at other times) I found a new way of walking the spiritual path. It is with a group of people I know who have set up a work-retreat charity called Sangha Seva. This basically means spiritual community (sangha) practicing dharma as service (seva).

I have already taken part in and facilitated a sangha seva retreat in Scotland this year. It was run in conjunction with ‘Trees for Life’ reforestration project based in the Caledonian forest in North East Scotland. The week for me was truly one of the most rewarding I have had for a long time – not just because of the environment we were in but also because of the attention we were giving it and to our inner environment.

The spiritual practice, the cultivation of awareness was the work that was carried out. This meant that whilst working – either alone or with others – the encouragement (by me) was to be present and mindful of what you were doing and of where you are. The relationship between oneself and the work is what became significant – not oneself or the work itself but that which marries the two. Just in the same way, it is the relationship between oneself and an asana (yoga posture) that we need to be interested in.

In part 4, no’s. 23 and 24 of Patanjali sutras he says: ‘The mind that is coloured by both its object and the Self, is all-embracing.’

And the mind, despite its countless separative tendencies, exists for the sake of the Self, because it is dependent on it.

And so, it is this focus that I feel really bears relevance to our daily lives; when we are in the workplace, in dialogue with others, out shopping for the family or on the yoga mat. In all these situations we can ask ourselves, ‘How am I with this?’, ‘What is my relationship to this?’ and ‘Is my intention that of non-violence?’.

Gandhi speaks time and time again on the issues of truth and non-violence. In his story he tells of an incident where, as a teenager, he presented his father with a letter of confession, thereby stating that he had stolen money from the servants in order to buy cigarettes. Rather than reacting with anger his father simply laid back on his sick-bed with tears in his eyes. This reaction made Gandhi cry also. The ‘reaction’ spoke louder than any angry words ever could:

This was for me an object-lesson in ahimsa. Then I could read in it nothing more than a father’s love, but today I know that it was pure ahimsa. When such ahimsa becomes all-embracing, it transforms everything it touches, There is no limit to its power. We must understand the power of non-violence and through our spiritual practice, in daily life as well as on the mat, we will slowly transform our own life and those of others.

MAY WE ALL CONTINUE TO LIVE FULLY AND WITH AWARENESS FOR THE BENEFIT OF ALL BEINGS EVERYWHERE

Your servant in the Dharma,
Beka

Read part II of Beka’s India diary

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